An Illinois mom who abandoned her daughter with developmental disabilities at a Tennessee bar said she acted out of desperation after trying for years to place the teen in a group home.
Eva Cameron left her Algonquin, Ill. home last month with her 19-year-old daughter who she said has the intellectual abilities of a 3-year-old. They drove more than 500 miles to Caryville, Tenn. where Cameron sent her daughter to use the restroom at the Big Orange Bar and then promptly drove back home without her.
Cameron said she had tried for more than a decade — without any luck — to place her daughter in a group home as mounting behavior problems and medical bills made the girl’s care overwhelming.
After Cameron said a state social worker in Illinois told her to stop calling for emergency help, she opted to make the trip to Tennessee recalling that a member of her church said that the Southern state offered better services for those with disabilities.
Currently, Tennessee authorities are investigating whether or not criminal charges against Cameron are warranted while the woman’s daughter remains in state care, reports the Chicago Tribune. To read more click here.
It is disgusting that this mom had to go to such extreme measures simply because she could not get help. If this had been an infant that was considered adoptable, the social workers would have been lining up at her door to push her into adoption.
It’s interesting that people will send clothes, toiletries, and money yet no one steps up and says let me take the young woman into my home. The mother must have been desperate to drop off her daughter.
I can feel her pain. My daughter is 12 and is on the Autism spectrum. She is a very large 12 and has very violent tantrums. All of her medical doctors, psychiatric and general, all agree she needs a long term placement for at a minimum of at least 6 months to get medications adjusted correctly in a controlled environment and to be able to give her extensive behavior modification like ABA. Being that we live in Florida and she has medicaid, they will not pay for long term placement and no one will accept her. I am quickly getting in over my head and no one will help. My husband and I made a very rushed decision and up and moved us to Pennsylvania to see if we have more resources for her here. I don’t think I could ever just leave her somewhere, that’s my baby girl, but I definitely know the feeling of wanting to, God forgive me.
I know this level of desperation. There are thousands in the state of Pa waiting for adult services especially group home placement. Parents are being forced to abandon their adult children because they can no longer provide for their care. This parent should have been given help. Her daughter is an adult and the state should be responsible for providing the needed services. The parent should not be brought up on criminal charges but the state should be for not providing the needed services and putting this adult at risk for abandonment. This adult should have been placed in an appropriate safe group home in her local community so that her family and friends can continue to be a part of her life. As a nation we take care of people with low incomes but we don’t do enough for our individuals like her daughter with disbilities who also have low incomes.
I am surprised the mother did not just put her into respite and leave her. Thats what happens here in Australia when older carers have had enough and it forces the state to step i As a parent of a disabled boy myself if that is what I have to do to get care for him when i get older I will do it too and I will feel no guilt.
Friendly reminder: the woman whose primary caregiver (her mother) abandoned her at a strange establishment, well outside both parties’ familiar space* and without any warning or discussion, is a person too and just might have some feelings.
I’d appreciate it if we could take a minute to at least be grateful that those present did not further victimize the poor woman.
*The linked article indicates that the parent thought the bar was a restaurant. Apparently going in to check whether the space was marginally safe was too much to ask of this parent. I guess if you’re defaulting on your parental duties anyway, doing so in a negligent manner would fit.
This strikes home. I remember thinking at one time that I might have to do this type of thing in order to get my own son help. The woman she dropped off is an adult, over age 18. At what point does a parent’s complete and total obligation of a child end. She kept her child even though she was given no help. It may have been the ONLY way she could give her daughter more. How horrible for this mom also.
Well, at least you gave us the minute for which I asked–took until 4:49 PM for the next parent-centric post to come through. And for that I am duly grateful.
Since you asked my opinion: parental duties end in one of three ways. 1) Child determines & demonstrates that parental support is no longer needed; 2) Someone else assumes and begins performing the support duties previously assigned to the parent; 3) The parent dies or otherwise becomes unavailable, whereupon the relevant government applies category 2 if necessary.
It’s interesting that the developmental age of 3 is an argument for services, but ignored for caregiver culpability. (Checked with a support-coordinator/case-manager I know: if for whatever reason you must default, the non-negligent way to default on one’s caregiving duties is to abandon the child at an emergency-response facility, such as a police/fire station or hospital.)
As the adoptive mother of a 26 year old with CP and FAS, the state had promised support. We received none. My husband and I adopted her because she needed a home not because I couldn’t have my own children. While my family and friends are starting their next chapter in their lives we are fretting what will happen to her when we are gone.
How this hits home. I am the mother and Guardian of a 26 year old behaviour-challenged, autistic young woman. She is in a program in Texas, not free, but this is what I must do and grateful for the ability to do it. This country is woefully deficient responding to the needs of the adult disabled. I have been in six different states with my daughter, only with the help of a legacy, but money soon runs out and then what? I honestly don’t know. During the course of travelling I would pick up as much info as possible. In Pennsylvania there is an organization called Elwyn who operates group homes throughout the nation….this might be a source for parents/guardians to look into. I know nothing of them but have heard the name. You could never fault the parent here…those of us who have been through and are going through this terrible fear of leaving a disabled person left behind cannot explain the terror. There was a mother/disabled daughter who actually committed suicide here in New York, last year. The daughter had a debilitating disease and the mother came down with cancer…rather than see the young woman in one of our AWFUL group homes, they killed themselves. Wake up America….these are real people! Illinois should be ashamed, not this mother.
This should be an eye opener for those who are charged with assessing, recommending and approving services such as respite for parents, particularly single parents, who care for their adult children who are severely mentally disabled with medical challenges. This situation is nearly impossible. Currently some I know personally who have no alternative but to take care of such an individual 24/7 all alone have very little help, encouragement or empathy from agencies who are paid by taxpayers (likely with great pensions) to provide needed resources. I wonder who can imagine the gravity of such a circumstance other than those who live them.
PS. For a long time I’ve been wanting to start a communication group with people in similar situations. Anyone have an idea how to make that happen? Willing to give up email addresses so we can communicate and start something? Mine is Lynnsmobile1@me.com. Feel free to email me if you or someone you know is in a similar situation and wishes to do something about it.