After hearing about an overwhelmed mother who killed her son and herself, concerned parents are creating a hotline for families of those with disabilities to turn to in times of need.
Nearly 80 parents of kids and adults with developmental disabilities are on board to volunteer for the new hotline that’s expected to serve the greater San Jose, Calif. area.
Organizers say the phone number will offer an understanding ear for families dealing with the unique challenges and isolation that can occur when caring for an individual with developmental disabilities.
Nicki Pecchenino, the mother of a 15-year-old with autism, said she was prompted to start the special needs hotline after hearing about Elizabeth Hodgins who killed her adult son with autism and herself earlier this year after reportedly telling neighbors that she was overwhelmed.
“I said to myself, ‘I’m not going to let this happen to another mother,’” Pecchenino told the San Jose Mercury News. To read more click here.
OK, the hotline will help overwhelmed parents. Righty-ho.
How about all the auties who see news stories expressing sympathy for murderous parents and are terrified that they might be next? How about the auties who aren’t terrified because they’ve internalized their parents’ hatred and wish they were dead?
…You’re gonna need a bigger hotline.
Let’s set one up for Canadians too!
Wow! Let’s not that happen to another MOTHER?!
A parent kills a child and it is the parent that needs protection?
Murder happens to the VICTIM. In this case, George Hodgins. Murder did not “happen” to his mother. His mother chose to kill him.
OK people. She should have said family instead. Why must people be so negative to something that could help possibly save another child and their family.? This is the problem with the world today . We want to argue and fight instead of trying to work together to solve the problems!! So frustrating! People against each other all the time! Negativity just feeds negativity. Wake up people and try to educate others with educated positive comments and stop knocking the good that people try to do. At least they are trying!!!
Sympathizing with the mother does not mean you are condoning her actions. Of course what she did was horrible. But she’s not a cold blooded murderer like the shooter at the Batman movie. Let’s not forget this was a murder-suicide. She was extremely depressed and suicidal, and probably did not want to leave her child alone in the world. I’m sure in her mind she was sparing her son a life of institutionalization. A hotline or some other support network could help prevent this from happening in the future.
I don’t think the comments were negative towards the initiative, but towards the language the person interviewed used. To me it is very clear that she was thinking about the mother. She did not misspoke, she said what most people say and she was very much in line with the reports at the time of George’s murder. The media largely forgot about him. The killer was “understood”.
Words matter, how we speak about a minority matters and how we “excuse” atrocities against the minority matters.
George was not the first autistic, among other disabled children and young adults, to be murdered by their family members. It took the killer’s suicide for this initiative to come about.
Good initiative, bad words. There is not “hate” only stating what happens.
I don’t have sympathy for the killer. The reason is not that I don’t believe she wasn’t depressed or overwhelmed. She could have sought help, There is always an Autism Society (that I don’t particularly agree with all the time) or even an Autism Speaks (which I completely disagree with all the time), but every parent knows about them. But the reason why I don’t sympathize is that, had George been not autistic, nobody would blink before accusing the mother of being a cold blooded killer and happy that she committed suicide. My problem is with the standards.
I would be willing to be judgmental of a parent who does not also kill themselves. But not so much of a parent who also commits suicide. The truth is that in any institution, individuals are commonly raped and mistreated. That is fact. It doesn’t matter if they are state-run or private. I know where of I speak. This mother – and others who also committed suicide after killing their autistic child – are not in their right minds – but walk a mile in their shoes before judging. In their heads, they saw no other option. There were not family resources and/or enough funds to assure the protection and safety of their loved one once they died. Is it right – or maybe even the truth? Maybe not – but I imagine that they saw dying together as the only way to assure the safety of their loved one – as opposed to knowing that loved one would suffer years and years of rape and mistreatment. People, this is what happens when our society does not fund programs for “the least of these.” This is reality..
Its not that the mother or any parent needs the protection, its that they need HELP way before they lose control and its not there by a long shot. Have you ever spent 20 years caring for a person that doesnt sleep, ie: you dont sleep. Not gone on vacation, spent years on a waiting list for a PCA? Call the autism society? excuse me they (we) are event planners! not crisis interventionist. the autism society are parents in the SAME BOAT! They can give you the name of a therapist that you cant pay for, better schools that you have to fight for, waiting lists that you have to get on yesterday but THEY CANNOT SEND YOU A PCA OR COME AND TAKE OVER FOR YOU. I recall 5 years ago I was on the phone to our state OCDD office begging them to send me someone to help me and they said I was still on the F****ing waiting list. The lady on the other end was sympathetic but she couldnt help me. I hung up the phone and sobbed. I knew I had almost lost it that day. Wake up people! this is not about aspergers or high functioning autistics or cute kid that say cute things. Its about low functioning adult men that are too physically rough for women to handle. That molest their mothers and hit and kick them and the mother becomes a victim, not of her son but of the lack of SERVICES! This mother had to have been destroyed before getting to this point. YOu cant just go next door and say take over please, my adult son that weighs 250 lbs is hitting me and trying to feel my breasts! Who is going to volunteer? Its autisms’ world of shame. The hidden secrets that noboby wants to admit and those of you chastising this initiative want the secrets to continue. you want to deny that low functioning autistic men are dangerous and hard to handle. Before you make stupid comments , walk in that mothers shoes, go volunteer to take on the care of a grown man whose non verbal and gets aggressive. sure they have their sweet moments but when it turns dark, its very dark.
The Hodgins story is one of a series of tragedies. No one is forgetting George, he was killed by Elizabeth for reasons we may never completely understand. Perhaps the intolerable exhaustion of unrelenting caregiving caused a psychotic break, perhaps it was something else.
I believe that the effort to provide a functioning hotline (locally) is a genuinely altruistic effort. Perhaps it could have saved the mother’s snapping from reality…saving the mother would have certainly saved the son and prevented the tragedy. It’s a positive step which large organizations cannot effectively deal with. Good idea and kudos for doing something and not being indifferent. Please don’t piss on other people’s parades.
Well, to the Adrianas and Katies of the world my advice is: Volunteer to make it better….get off the chair and into the centers and HELP!! I can assure you, as a mother, guardian of a 26 year old DD/autistic young woman, my daughter would love a FRIEND to go with her to a movie, or an outing….either of you two up for it??? It is apparent critics here have not a clue as to how sad young lives can be without company, nor friendship…there aren’t enough quality programs around so the basis for this horrific act is true….and it’s nationwide…I’m in NY and we should be overrun with programs and venues….we are not! So imagine in small towns and villages. This mother must have been so frightened as to the future for her child…what will happen to him when she’s gone? I know that fear and so do hundreds of thousands of other parents in this country….the governments are worthless. So before you cast your self-rightousness our way…..go find out!!!!! Experience what a caregiver’s life is all about.
Woah back there – several points.
1) Some of you are excusing the murder of a disabled child. How can you do this?
2) All too often ‘dont be negative, be positive’ is a way to silence people. I find this PC trend to be oppressive.
3) Many of us do know what it’s like to caregive an Autistic. I myself slept in the next room of my elder and only Autistic sibling/brother.. I am still potentially a caregiver to him. In the 60s 70s and 80s I grew up in a house suffused with autism. My earliest memories are of ABA and a timer dinging. How come there was far more isolation (no support groups, no internet, no mainstream knowlege) and no killing? Sure, there was a marked tendency for fathers to abandon their wives and Autistic babies…..
4) Why cant this Hotline also support the Disabled?
What about a hotline for us adults who actually HAVE the disabilities?Are we less overwhelmed — or less important — than our families?
AppleJ’s comment alleges that either her child or Mr. Hodgins is/was committing sexual assault. That’s a serious crime and I’ll support a parent going to the police. Sexual assault isn’t acceptable from anyone, including auties.
That said, let me make sure I understand what seems to be the major thrust in the comments: because Mr. Hodgins was difficult to work with & physically acted out, it’s technically “wrong”, but understandable, to kill him. The proper response to his murder & murderer’s subsequent suicide is to express sympathy for his poor caregiving mother–the murderer–and tactfully not mention him.
Is a simple (boilerplate, even) “We regret the death of $AUTISTIC_PERSON, understand that killing autistic people is wrong, and encourage those feeling the urge to kill an autistic to instead seek crisis assistance” at the top of these sorts of article too much to ask?
Does ASAN need to run out a black flag? “An Autistic Was Killed Today?”
Gagh!
also i dont agree with that mum who killed her disabled son it was a tragidy that could of beeen prevented
i dont agree with killing people with disabilites they to have a right to live and parent who kill there disabled kids are not good parents ot me
i dont agree with killing of a human it is not right so we should put a stop to parents killing adult or disabled kids it is important a disabled perosn has a right to live as well as others
also i dont agree with killing anyway it is wrong and a perosn shoudl never take a persons life it will haunt a perosn doing that also there is help for parents with a disability i live iwth my dad and are allowed to live at home and i am not a problem i help my dad
Something similar happened here in the UK – after complaining to the police multiple times about harassment, a mother killed herself and her disabled child because of it. This prompted a whole investigation into the handling of disability hate crime.
The hotline isn’t a terrible idea, its just the phrasing that’s problematic (she really should’ve said family)