From wandering to inclusion, NBC’s “Parenthood” has put disability issues at the forefront since its debut in 2010. Now, the show is set to take on whether or not disability should be used as an excuse.
In a sneak peak of the next episode of “Parenthood” (Tuesday, 10 ET) that was first obtained by TV Guide, Max (Max Burkholder) tells his parents, Kristina (Monica Potter) and Adam Braverman (Peter Krause), that he shouldn’t have to participate in P.E. because he has Asperger’s syndrome.
“You know what, I can’t play because I have a disability,” Max says.
He goes on to explain that his P.E. teacher will excuse him from playing basketball if he has a note from his parents. “It’s the easiest solution,” he says.
No, I do not think his disability should be an excuse.
From what I saw on the trailer, the issue is not his disability, but other kids picking on him.
Disability is used too often as an excuse to exclude people in a discriminatory manner.
You can’t have it both ways. You’re either on the inclusion bus or you’re off the inclusion bus.
This article frames the episode in a way that ignores the underlying problem. Don’t blame Max for trying to get out of gym any way he can. He’s understandably looking for a way to ease the pain of his underlying problem — that nobody picks him or passes him the ball in basketball even though he’s a good player.
I was excused from phys ed by way of my family doctor’s recommendation. I was not formally diagnosed with Asperger’s until over 45 years later!
Most male phys ed teachers are oblivious to bullying and even encourage “rough housing.” In my experience, the teachers were NEVER in the change rooms.
Phys ed is as important as any other subject but it requires extra supervision. Asperger’s Syndrome should never be an excuse for anything. It may, however be a reason to adjust a difficult environment.
What smart kid with a disability hasn’t tried to push the envelope for seeing what they can use their disability status to gain for them or to get out of something they abhor??? I know I did! The parents and teachers need to dig for the real reason Max doesn’t want to be involved in class and address it, whatever the reason.
Well, as an Aspie myself, my comment would be that it might be better to participate in most activities but to self-disclose so that people will realize why our performance (or tolerance of the sensory issues involved) might not be the same as that for non-spectrumites. Or, as George says, to participate but with accommodations. I did not watch the video that accompanied this article…but to reply to the comments of others on this posting, bullying and put-downs were indeed a part of why PE was always so painful for me.
Personally, I’ve always considered gym class to be hell on earth for Aspie kids. While I don’t think Asperger’s is a valid reason in and of itself for not participating in gym class, I do think that the teachers could do a better job in making gym friendly for ALL kids, not just the Aspies. Stop letting the kids pick their own teams. Emphasize sports that kids can do individually rather than as part of teams. In team games, if one kid refuses to pass the ball to another kid who is open, blow the whistle, stop the game, and correct them. Include the kids who are rejected for being fat, clumsy, uncoordinated or just plain unpopular.
Participating in groups is a vital skill for aspies to acquire even if they will never master it. The world won’t change for the 1%. However, the 99% will also benefit from learning to accept differences. I may have been an uncoordinated klutz but there were those who would approach me to explain a math or physics assignment.
As far as social skills go, at 60 years of age I am still learning new ways to fit in. Aspies need to learn to adapt or they will be socially isolated. Sometimes that which is hard to do is the most important.
Max’s disability should not be an excuse regarding playing basketball, but a phys ed class is not sheer “playing basketball,” and exclusion is a normally uncontroversial and common way for all involved to deal with this situation.
Whether the autistic individual is ever valued for their technical ability depends on (likely other things as well, but least : ) how conformist and neurotypical the class is, and whether the kid makes an effort. For learning purposes it is important that the autistic kid be encouraged to makes the effort initially. The less conformist the class, the more likely someone will be nice and, say, consistently pass the kid the ball. That’s a workable long-term situation. Otherwise they’ll more likely to all respond like a-holes. Then it would be best to fall back on safe practice.
In an ideal world, the coachy person would dictate (or avoid) teams and score individually. Not gonna happen.
(I’m an autistic lad in college; in HS PE I sometimes interacted despite meh-level talent, and sometimes just did laps at leisure.)
I do not have a disability but was somewhat clumsy I suspect, so I was almost always picked last. It is not a good feeling. Of course 50 years ago you just had to deal with it. I don’t think I ever talked to my parents about it. I may have even felt ashamed about being picked last. Thank goodness I had no sensory issues. I have worked with kids with disabilities and some are focused on improving, on rare occasions I have had kids who used the excuse I have a disability. I usually say: You are right. Things may be harder for you but I have never seen an employer who wanted to pay people because they had a disability. What are you going to do about it.
I’m a parent of a 17 year old son diagnosed with AS; and a professional in the field of special education. All too often general education staff, i.e., Max’s P.E. instructor, make insensitive or uniformed suggestions that result in the student with special needs and his or her family to deal with the “fallout”. Should AS be used as an excuse…”No”. However, It’s important to realize that Max and his family probably wouldn’t be having this discussion if Max’s teacher hadn’t planted the idea in his head in the first place.
This is a variant of The Daily Question for me and I suspect many other parents of Aspie kids: How hard do I push? If I push just enough out of his comfort zone, then there can be personal growth and a sense of accomplishment. However, if I force him too far out on a limb, that can be a set-up for a fall. And falls set us back in the grand scheme of things.
Another thought:
Sometimes, as a parent, it’s soooo much easier to write an excuse, or excuse a behavior, than to come down hard, stand firm. push. Being the Aspie parent tough-love hard-nose is, quite frankly, an exhausting role. I have given in, been weak, opted for the easy way out, the excuse, more often that I should have.
Alex is picked last and the other children refuse to pass him the ball. Why should children with Aspeger syndrome be forced into team activities under those particular conditions? How is this teaching anyone teamwork and why is Asperger’s treated as an “excuse” instead of attempting to find an alternative?
I had to endure competition-based athletic competiton as my “physical education” in school. I was chosen last every time, I was uncoordinated and had sensory challenges but without the benefit of Asperger’s diagnosis that found me later in life.
I sometimes managed to get excused from PE and just sat quietly by myself but, again, there was no diagnosis to justify a formal alternative and when I was forced to play I was miserable the whole time. I learned nothing of value in physical education except that nobody liked me.
The way most P.E. classes are run are probably not suitable for most kids. In Alex’s mind the best way to deal with the frustration, humiliation and pain is to withdraw. The P.E. teacher on the other hand could learn from this about the importance of inclusion in physical activity, what is involved in real team work, and how to get other kids from voicing their stereotypes, prejudices and lack of tolerance. All the kids and the teacher need to keep their eye on the goal. This is a system problem, and unfortunately, it all too often winds up creating another victim, rather than repairing the flaws in the system.
I agree with those who feel that his disability should not be an excuse to get out of PE, but I also have been where Max is. Being born with multiple heart defects did not make me dislike sports but having to try to play them in a large PE class where I simply could not keep up with my peers did make me hate PE enough to get my cardiologists to write me a note giving me a study hall instead of having to deal with my classmates who had no sympathy…until I got to high school when I decided that I did not want to take the easy way out. So I decided that instead of taking a study hall, I would ask to help teach a PE class of younger students. That way I did not get a grade that I did not deserve and instead of being looked down upon by my peers, I was looked up to by the younger kids that I got to help teach….I also was able to help support those kids who like me were the least athletic in the class so that they did not feel as bad as I did for the years of being made fun of that lead up to me asking for a “free pass”.
PE? Seriously? I never learned anything in PE but humiliation. Why would you put your Aspie thru that? Mine was suicidal by 8 years old thanks to public school. We are now in an Independent Freedom school. No forced anything. He has blossomed into a laughing, happy, sociable teen, able to converse with people from all ages without the stress involved in public schooling.There is too much industrial education in public schools. Reform is long overdue.
The truth in this sitation, I think lies in the middle. He is probably using his disability as a means to an end. The other truth is that the law requires that schools provide equal access and that if a disability impedes a student’s access, then accommodations must be made. This includes things other than academic as well. It includes functional skills. Difficulty understanding other perspectives and unusual reactions to sensory inputs are hallmarks of spectrum issues. His disability is impeding his function, but rather than letting him out (we wouldn’t let him out of math), he should have accommodations and a plan put into place to help him fnction in this class. This includes role play and practice.
Good clip and good issue to deal with in discussion. Really to different topics discussed. What is his objection, is it disability based and what is solution. Objection is I don’t get picked. Yes, social weakness is part of his disability due to lack of social skills. Should he be excused? No, worst thing that could happen due to teaching avoidance. Solution, intervention by behaviorist to work with teacher on teaching social skills to class, teacher and student
Tough to decide, however the anxiety P.E. provokes, along with an already fragile self esteem makes the excuse understandable. However, all children need to excersise, so how about an alternative P.E. class that is not competative based? Even mainstream kids get picked last!
Competitive “Team Sports” are terrible for anyone who doesn’t enjoy them. It’s not like he doesn’t want to do ANYTHING, but no one, general ed or not should HAVE to play competitive sports that they don’t enjoy playing. There are plenty of other healthy physical activities that don’t involve direct competition.
I’ve always loved ones where it’s 1 on 1, if I was good or not. But being 6’1″ everyone assumed I loved basket ball. Yes, I was “good” but I HATED it and avoided it at all costs. So what if he doesn’t want to play basket ball? Have him do something else instead.
I actually watched the entire episode. Max ultimately ends up sitting out, but that gives him the chance to make friends with the other little boy with a disability (in a wheelchair). Interesting to note…Max found a friend in someone with a disability, who understands him rather than in the “typical” peers he was “included” with during PE.
Yes in an ideal world the PE class and teacher should be educated to accept all people, if they are different. In an ideal world an aspie wouldn’t already walk in to PE feeling self conscious because they already know that they are different and that people are judged by physical abilities more than intelligence in the school setting (at times). Unfortunately it is not an ideal world although we keep fighting to make this a better, more aspie friendly place.
I pick my battles. I know I have avoided certain things my whole life because they were just too difficult and I have turned out okay. There is no need for me to play sports or go to sporting events. There are many ways to get exercise that do not involve team sports. It is funny I just wrote about this on my blog related to the Big Bang Theory episode. My son really tried to play sports and really tried to participate in gym. He would have frequent meltdowns and it disrupted his whole day. The last straw was when the school called and told me that he ran out of gym class threw himself on the floor and started banging his head on the floor screaming about how he wanted to die. This was his way of communicating he could not cope in that situation. (before everyone reacts no he is not suicidal and no he does not self harm anymore, we taught him other coping mechanisms) The point being he could not cope with PE at that time so yes I obtained a physician note & got him excused. The following year he tried PE and he at least made it through the class. The first year in high school he lasted only 2 weeks and he was pulled out again. It is not about using Asperger’s as an excuse. It is about the individual child and what they can cope with at that time. Maybe it is too much this year but in the future their coping skills or self esteem or better mix of students or their other stressors are decreased and they can cope with PE.
Some things are just not worth the stress and anguish for all involved and PE is one of those things where it just isn’t worth it. That decision is for the family and child but I beg all of you to not just dismiss it as it being inappropriate to use Asperger’s as an excuse and should always push the child. Always pushing the child can have very negative, long term effects on their self esteem and ability to cope in future situations.
PE is supposed to teach kids physical skills, coordination and teamwork. Done in a positive and supportive way that includes ALL individual is beneficial to all. Additionally, PE teachers are looked up to and loved in a way not always enjoyed by academic teachers, especially by the “popular” kids. This means that these individuals have a particular onus to reach out and teach with sensitivity. I hope that principals take particular note to scrutinize the teaching abilities of their PE staff with this in mind and provide specialized training. What is really necessary is an overhaul of our education system, with a way to evaluate teachers and reward those with additional responsibility and pay. But not with the current push toward standardized test scores.
To Joyce:
To say the disability is not the issue is so very naive. I don’t feel that simply giving up due to having Asperger’s is the solution. However, many times the crux of the issue lies in ignorance among the adults charged with educating Aasperger’s children in group formats like PE. Children with Asperger’s suffer with real-life emotional struggles that need to be evaluated and in many cases require very specific reaction plans. So this issue is that the disability presents certain traits, which in turn are perceived by other individuals in ways that lead to exclusion.
What our family has found unfortunate, is that many times the solution to dealing with the challenges are often generally applicable and beneficial to the whole group. It’s so ironic that a hallmark of Asperger’s is rigid thinking and yet the very thing that can cause these individuals such emotional stress is rigid thinking encountered in other individuals and groups.
I saw this episode. Kids with disabilities should not be excused in general. There should be modifications so everyone can participate. The child with spina bifida could also play even in a wheelchair. PE teachers need to make more of an effort to create an environment so all can play. This is not necessarily a disabled thing. This is for all kids who are not athletic. PE teachers need to be more sympathic and welcoming regardless of athletic ability.
Now that research has documented that motor impairments are core to the autism spectrum —
http://www.disabilityscoop.com/2012/02/21/motor-impairments-autism/15022/
(something that most of us have known for quite a while!) —
plainly Max has a point.
Shouldn’t there be a follow-up episode?
I have Asperger’s and I believe the P.E. curriculum should be modified to provide better accommodation for kids with Asperger’s. When I was that age, I absolutely hated P.E. and got nothing out of the team sports that everyone except me seemed to look forward to. It would be good to see schools creating the option of more solitary sports, especially ones to work particularly on co-ordination, which many Aspie struggle with.
My son has Asperger’s Syndrome and I would never dream of using it as an excuse to get him out of P.E. Although he has his struggles, he knows that he just needs to work through them. And the important message is to always try his best, but he does not always have to be THE best. I don’t see my son as having a disability. If he must be labeled that way, then everyone else should also be considered disabled since no one is perfect and EVERYONE has challenges. The fact that he has Asperger’s brings out such amazing things in him… he’s incredibly determined, works very hard at finding his own solutions and strategies, he can laugh at himself in a very healthy way and he has the biggest, most tender loving heart. I’m incredibly lucky to have this most amazing son!
No, it shouldn’t be used as an ‘excuse’ for skipping gym class*- that’d be as ridiculous as a wheelchair user saying they can’t participate in debate teams because of their wheelchair. But, I never see these ‘excuse’ situations happen outside of television (example: Glee). People on the spectrum don’t generally make a habit of ‘using it as an excuse’. Unfortunately, the things we do respond to with ‘sorry, Aspergers’ are behavioral things, so everyone keeps accusing us of ‘using it as an excuse’. If I miss a social cue, misjudge a situation, and say, quite honestly and quite rightly, that I sometimes do this as a result of being on the spectrum and that I don’t know where I messed up, people will accuse me of ‘using it as an excuse’. If that’s an excuse, then I’d say a person with a learning disability screwing up in math despite his best efforts is ‘an excuse’. Is blindness ‘an excuse’ not to read? Is being in a wheelchair ‘an excuse’ not to take the stairs? AS/ASD isn’t ‘an excuse’- but it IS a valid explanation, for certain things, and should be recognized as such.
*Unless the situation is that gym class is just a problem spot; if a student on the spectrum can’t handle the sensory stimuli in gym class, or is being ostracized from teams or bullied, and trying to overcome that would be too difficult, then what’s the matter with letting that student do solo weight training instead? I hated gym class all through my schooling, but when I had the option as a wrestler to do weight training in high school instead of team gym, I took it, and got a lot healthier, a lot stronger, and looked forward to ‘gym’ a lot more.