An Oregon couple is suing after their daughter was born with Down syndrome despite doctors telling them that a test “definitively ruled out” the disorder.
Deborah and Ariel Levy say they would have aborted the child had they known she would have Down syndrome. Now they are seeking over $14 million to cover the cost of raising their daughter and meeting her educational and medical needs for life. Further, the suit seeks damages for the emotional toll that having a child with a disability has taken on the couple and their relationship and the loss of income they’ve experienced as a result.
While the Levys say they are committed to supporting their daughter, who is now 2-years-old, they feel wronged.
Less than 10 lawsuits of this nature are filed across the country each year, experts say. And they raise some tricky issues. Parents must be willing to publicly say that their child is an unwanted burden and courts must wrestle with the question of whether or not a child should exist, reports The Oregonian. To read more click here.
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This family could consider adoption. Many families would love to adopt a little girl with Down syndrome.
Parents who do not want their children should give them away. I have heard there are many people who want to adopt kids with Downs. It is not a hard disability, especially if the child is reasonably healthy. It is child cruelty that they are keeping her and just seeing her as a way to get money. And the worst part is, she knows they don’t really love her.
I remember the first couple of years after my daughter was born with Down syndrome. The anguish is far greater than if your child had died. When a baby dies it is very sad but tears are shed, a funeral held, and goodbyes said. An intense grieving period follows, but over time the pain lessens until one day it’s not as bad and then finally a day arrives when you don’t even think about it for that day. The annual remembrances come and go, the emotional trauma fades with each passing year.
But when your baby is born with a condition like Down syndrome, you cannot say your goodbyes and then go on your way to healing. It’s as though, Promethean-like, the wounds are reopened anew each day. You keep your heart open for your child – how can you not? – but the open heart bears witness to all that you have lost…all that your child has lost…with each passing childhood milestone missed, each taken-for-granted-hope stripped away. You find yourself thinking about stuff twenty years in the future…driver’s licenses, college, marriage, grandchildren. And you look around at the kids playing in the neighborhood and you think “Will mine ever have friends? What will become of my child? Why my child?”
And the need to blame something, someone becomes overwhelming. We women typically blame ourselves…did we follow all the rules during pregnancy? Were we exposed to radiation or chemicals at work? Is there something wrong with my own DNA? But in the case of Down syndrome we are assured by our doctors that it was not something we could have prevented, nor was it something we caused. So who can we blame?
Doctors make such good legal targets. Our interactions with them are well-documented. And they have such nice deep-pockets full of insurance money to go after. Money is powerful and so easily rationalized as a source of future living expenses for a child who most likely will never be able to earn a very comfortable salary. And, after all, a parent might think “I deserve this. My family has been through so much and my child will have to go through so much. We deserve this money.”
I understand the Levy’s decision to go after their doctor. During those first few years after my daughter was born, when the emotional anguish was nearly unbearable, I might have been tempted to do the same.
But, as the mother of a 19 year old daughter who has Down syndrome, I’m here to tell them; don’t do it. I hope that they drop the case against the doctor. These tests, even chorionic villus sampling (CVS) done early in the 4th month of pregnancy, are not infallible. The OB isn’t at fault. The testing lab, unless it can be shown that they were not complying with health industry standards for testing procedure isn’t at fault either. The Levys are not at fault. And most of all, the child is not at fault.
By suing for “wrongful birth” Deborah and Ariel Levy are bearing witness to the entire world that their child is not worthy of life.
Now that they have the child and love this child, surely they must see this. All of those wonderful things they want for her and are willing to advocate for her such as mainstream education and the right to decent work, all of these things are undermined by their lawsuit, by their declaration to the world that this child is so defective that had they known her prior to birth they would have aborted her. How can they expect others to accept her for who she is if they are unwilling to do so themselves?
Just so you understand, I’m a pro-choice advocate and I believe that it was the Levy’s right to decide for themselves when they would give birth.
But once that birth occurred, it is the parents’ duty and obligation to either take care of that kid and love that kid or allow the child to be adopted to someone who will.
Someday the Levy’s daughter will learn of this lawsuit. She will know that her own parents proclaimed for all to hear that she should never have been born. Unless her Down syndrome is of such severity that she can’t learn to read or understand, she will learn about the lawsuit. Even if it makes her (and you) incredibly wealthy it doesn’t make it right.
Having children is not like buying a car. There are no guarantees and accepting what you get is part of the package. It’s what being a parent is all about. You get to choose when you will become a parent but you don’t get to choose what the kid will be like. No amount of money is worth sacrificing the validity of a child’s life.
As a mother of a child with Down syndrome I have much compassion for the Levys and I understand their anguish and thought-process, but I am telling them; it is wrong.